I tend to lie a lot. I’ll lie to myself, to the people I love, and to the people I don’t want to love.
It’s a bit of a burden on me; I have to carry it everywhere I go. The heaviest ones are the lies I feed myself because the hunger never fades.
Being open and honest is hard for me. I’ve spent most of my days in a shell, reserving my thoughts for very few people, but that’s about to change. I’ve been writing my thoughts in my journal. So, I’ll have a thought, I’ll state it, and I’ll expand on it. These thoughts are very personal, and very, very revealing, but I plan to post them for the world to see once they come full circle. Hopefully, that day will be soon.
I’m still struggling with who I am as a person. I have these feelings, these urges, that I don’t understand, and I have no vent for my passive aggressiveness. Since I’m a reserved skin-sack of chemicals, I tend to bottle everything up and put it on a shelf. Sometimes that shelf becomes overburdened and it falls. When that happens, you probably won’t hear from me for a few days, maybe longer.
With that said, this is why I want my thoughts out there, out here, out of my head.
If you follow me, or you’re just passing through, thanks for reading. You’ll be seeing me again soon.